Meaty balls

450g minced beef
1 garlic clove minced
1/2 a small onion very finely chopped
1 egg yolk
small sprigs of sage, rosemary, thyme very finely chopped
pepper
cayenne
salt

Mix these together and roll into balls

1 onion
3 cloves garlic finely chopped
1/2 red pepper diced
1/2 green pepper diced
2 sticks celery, chopped
2 bay leaves
Herbes de provence
dried chillies
2 cans tomatoes

Fry onion slowly, add garlic. Add chilli bay, herbs, pepper and
celery, cook a little while. Add tomatoes and cook for a while.

Meanwhile brown meatballs well in a frying pan. Add to the mixture and
turn the heat down. Serve with spaghetti.

Venison stew

Feeds 4 or so

1lb venison (stewing meat - cubes of neck etc)
celery
onion
turnip
garlic
carrot
red wine (Rioja?) - about 2 glasses
a slosh of worcester sauce
flour
olive oil
salt+pepper
good chicken stock
- - (homemade!... well roasted chicken carcasses, onion, garlic,
celery, carrot, fresh thyme, simmer gently for 4 hours then reduce)

Slowly fry onion in olive oil until translucent. Add diced celery,
sliced carrot, cubed turnip, crushed garlic and fry for a bit. Brown
the meat very well in a frying pan and add to the veg. Then deglaze
the pan with red wine, bringing to the boil and adding to the pan with
the stock, to cover. Cook slowly for 2 hours. Make a roux with a
little oil and some flour. Ladle off as much of the stock as possible,
blend with the roux and reduce very fast with some wine.

serve with boiled potatoes and red cabbage.

--

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not
giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein

Curry Roast Monkfish

This was very very good.

First take 6kg pale malted barley and 56g of Target hops, add 4l of
water at 50'C, stir and rest 20m. Now add 8l of boiling water, bring
to 60'C, stir well, and prepare your monkfish.

Take 1 clove of garlic, slice into slivers and stud into the monkfish
tail much as you would for a leg of lamb. Sprinkle lightly with olive
oil, salt, a little chilli powder. a little smoked paprika, and 1tsp
curry powder. Place in a roasting dish with some cold boiled potatoes
and sliced tomatoes. Roast for 30m in a 220'C oven.

When the fish is nearly ready, add 8l of 80'C water to the mash. Stir
well. Rest for about 25 minutes (this should bring it to about 70'C
but it didn't. Adjust as necessary with boiling water / direct heat).

Eat fish served with lovely steamed samphire.

Continue making beer.

lemon + basil chicken

1 lemon, zest removed and finely chopped
loads of fresh basil leaves, chopped
pepper
salt
olive oil
1 bottle brown brothers' dry muscat
1 chicken

Stuff most of the lemon zest and basil under the breast skin of the
bird. rub the rest over the chicken skin, season well, and place
breast down in a (fairly deep) roasting tin.

Roast 25 minutes at full blast, about 320'C. Then remove from oven,
turn breast side up, add more black pepper and baste with the lemon
juice and a very little bit of oil.

Cover the chicken with a layer of foil (edges tucked into the tin) and
a second layer (folded over the edges of the tin).

turn the oven down to 165 and roast for a further hour and a half or
so. The chicken should steam under the foil, rendering it utterly
moist and providing the basis for a lovely sauce.

Remove from the tin when done, sieve the juices which are left in the
tin, and add to a saucepan with a little slosh of wine. Boil very hard
and whisk until reduced to a nice emulsified sauce.

Serve the breast with skin on (cause it looks good with al lthe basil
under it), with boiled spuds and greens.

Then nyom to your heart's content while quaffing that lovely wine.

Fwd: Breakfast

A delicious breakfast:

Cook some brown rice (takes about 25 minutes so start early).
Add to this 1 tin of sardines in tomato sauce, some chopped up
homemade pickled limes, some sliced tomato, some curry powder, mixed
indian pickle, black pepper.

Very good the next day, reheated with a trickle of hot water added to
rehydrate the rice.

Yeah, it's basically Kedgeree but without the smoked fish or peas or
egg. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm though.

--

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not
giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein

Lambs Fries

What should I find in the butchers this Saturday but a tray full of
lamb's fries... In other words, testicles. I had to try.

Following the procedure outlined in the Good Book
(http://www.amazon.co.uk/River-Cottage-Meat-Book/dp/0340826355/ref=pd_ka_1/203-8083694-8800764?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173698467&sr=8-1),
I marinated the skinned fries in some olive oil, a sliced onion, thyme
and sage, and some tarragon vinegar. Then sliced into thick strips and
fried, with a dusting of flour.

They're very tasty! Rather like Kidney in flavour, but perhaps a
slightly softer texture. A curious milky liquid came out into the pan
while frying them (no joke!) but no more disquieting than what happens
when you fry cheap bacon.

Oxtail stew

It's not my recipe, basically another one by dear old HFW. But it's lovely.

Take one oxtail, chopped up by butchr. Rinse it. Place in a big pot
with one large onion (chopped), two sliced carrots, chopped celery,
bay leaves, thyme. Cover with water. Bring to boil, simmer slowly for
3-4 hours (skim off some of the crud which rises if you can be
bothered).

When the meat is tender, take it all out of the stock (veg too). Rip
the meat off the bones. Add 1/2 a bottle of red wine to the stock, and
boil it down to a nice thick consistency. Add meat and possibly the
veg if you like really well done carrots back to the stock.

Minty Trousers

You will need:
One pair of trousers
One washing machine
One small packet of Wrigleys Extra Peppermint Gum.

Open gum and chew a couple of pieces. Place in trouser pocket and forget.
Wash trousers in washing machine, as normal.

Pumpkin Soup

Here is my pumpkin soup recipe. It is very good

--------------------------------------------

Take one Graig Farm chicken (2kg).

Use the neck and heart to make a nice sauce for the bird:

Fry onion, carrot, neck and heart in a tiny amount of olive oil. Add
water to cover. Simmer for an hour or more.

Take the liver. Fry quickly with garlic, and spread on a piece of
toast. Chef's perk.

Grate the rind off a lemon. Stuff the two halves of the lemon up the
chicken's arse.

Mix some Malton salt, fennel seeds, black pepper, lemon rind, and
thyme leaves with a little olive oil. (This is vaguely inspired by a
Jamie Oliver recipe). Smear it all over the outside of the bird.

Roast the bird about 30 minutes, breast down, on a heat high enough to
make your kitchen/lounge all smoky and set off the smoke alarm. Then
turn the bird over and roast for another 45m or so at about 160dC.

When cooking is done, move it to somewhere else and rest the meat.

Deglaze the pan with red wine and water, thicken with some flour and
chicken fat made into a roux. Add the scrapings to the heart and neck
stock you made. Then season it with S+P, Worcester sauce, whatever...
P.S. Eat the lovely tender heart when nobody is looking!!

Serve the bird with the sauce and some broccoli and potatoes.

----

Have a meal or two of chicken on the bone, grilled until bubbling,
with leftover tatties and sauce. Yum.

---

Use the leftover bits of chicken (breast etc) for a nice pasta sauce:

Fry onions, leek, garlic, tinned tomatoes, add some worcestershire
sauce, cook hard. Fry chicken breast hard, seasoning very hard with
cayenne and black pepper, throw into the sauce, stir to mix. Should be
fucking spicy.

---

A week later, use the bones and skin of the chicken ... (you are
supposed to keep them aside in a tupperware in the fridge. didn't I
say that? you'd better go and root through the dustbin) ... to make a
nice stock:

Roast bones until they're brown. Add to a pot with 2 halved onions, 2
carrots, a stick of celery, some peppercorns, a bay leaf. Add water,
simmer slowly for about 3 hours. You should have plenty of time to,
say, clean your bike, while this is happening.

--

Then make your pumpkin soup:

Cut the skin off your pumpkin. Chop into big chunks. Roast until
tender, with olive oil, garam masala, cumin, cayenne, black pepper,
maldon salt. Liquidise with a ladle or two of stock. Reheat. Serve
with toast.

For the best organic chickens

I'd highly recommend these guys' organic chickens.

http://www.graigfarm.co.uk/

and their beef was very fine too.

Pork belly stuffed aubergine

2 medium aubergines
about 250g leftover roast pork belly, re-roast to brown more and
render some of the fat off)
onions
garlic
spices etc

Cut a "lid" off the aubergines (longways) and scoop out the innards.
Fry 2 small onions, 4 cloves garlic. Add the chopped aubergine lids
and some of the scooped out flesh. fry a little while. Add the (diced)
belly. Add a sprinkle of cumin and chilli. Stuff filling back into
aubergines. Sprinkle with garam masala. Bake until aubergine is tender

a way with roasted pumpkin

Slice a small (green) pumpkin into thin wedges. Put in a roasting tin, sprinkle a little garam masala, black pepper, ground cumin, grated nutmeg and olive oil over it. Shake about to make sure everything's covered. Bake/Roast for about 25 minutes in a very hot oven until slightly browned on the edges.


Nice with roast pork.

curry

 a (roughly) south indian style curry

Mince about 8 cloves garlic, a piece of ginger and 2 small, hot green chillies
Fry some cinnamon bark, coriander seeds and about 6 hot red dried chillies for a short while. Add 1 1/2  medium onions, chopped. Cook for a minute or two. Add the minced garlic, ginger and chilli. Add the chopped roots and stalks of a bunch of coriander (qiute a lot). Add a can of tomatoes. Quickly brown off some quartered button mushrooms  and add. Chop some chicken breast into bite sized portions and fry to brown the edges, along with three hot green chillies split into strips (keep the seeds in!). Add a bunch of cooked green beans. Finish the curry with some chopped coriander leaves and garam masala.

roast garlic and pumpkin soup

Roast a bulb of garlic (in foil) with a pumpkin cut into 8th's.
(Sprinkle black pepper and cumin on the pumpkin first, and a drizzle
of olive oil)

After about 1.5 hours, remove and leave to cool.

Blend the garlic with chicken stock* and add the pumpkin. When smooth,
add cream, stock, chopped sage, salt and pepper to taste.

* Stock:
1 chicken carcass, roasted until dark red
2 onions
1 large carrot
3 thin sticks celery
Top bit of a leek
2 bay leaves
2 sprigs rosemary
1 star anise

Beans and Sausages

2 Onions
1 large / 2 small Carrots
1/2 a pack dry Pinto beans, soaked
2 Bay leaves
1 large sprig thyme
1 large sprig rosemary
1 sprig sage
1/3 bottle red wine
5 big fat toulouse sausages (from butcher)
Olive oil

Fry onions and carrots until slightly coloured. Add herbs and beans
and plenty of water. Pressure cook for about 20 mins or simmer until
beans are tender.
Brown the sausages well in a frying pan and add to the pot whole.
Deglaze the frying pan with the wine and set it alight. Add this to
the pot. Simmer for up to an hour until the sausages are really firm
and the sauce has reduced enough. Add Salt and Pepper to taste.

Serve with wilted spinach and rice

Mince and Aubergine curry (Keema Brinjal)

Ideally made quite late on when you really should be going to bed
rather than cooking a big extravaganza.

Take 2 aubergines (fairly small to medium size), chop into big bite
sized cubes and salt to degorge.
Fry your lamb mince (500g) until slightly browned. Leave in a sieve to drain.
Puree a knob of ginger, 6 cloves garlic and 1 onion.

In a pan, heat some oil and throw in about 10 peppercorns and about 8
cardomon pods, and 1 bay leaf. Sizzle for a short while. Add the puree
and cook until it's starting to stick. Then add 2 cans of tomatoes and
the mince, and some cinnamon sticks. Fry off the aubergine pieces
(rinsed of salt) and add to the pot. Throw in a small bell chilli,
with a cut in it. (it doesn't turn out hot enough though. Better make
it about 4 next time, or add the chillies to the puree). Put a lid on
and leave over a low heat for a while (20 mins or so) to cook the
aubergine. Maybe simmer for a while to reduce slightly.

Deep fry some thinly sliced onion (rings?) until very brown and
crispy. Add at the last minute, with Garam Masala if you have it (I
had run out).

Very nice at half past eleven.

Improvements:
1) Make some garam masala first.
2) Put many more chillies in, unless you're serving it to your grandma
(or your girlfriend.)
3) Add some cumin seeds in the oil at the start. I couldn't find the
cumin seeds. Oh well. Or something else to give it a little bit more
bitterness (maybe Fenugreek) would have helped.

Pumpkin coronary

Take a small pumpkin. Slice the top off. Scoop out all the crap. Fill
with 1/3 grated gruyere, 1/3 double cream, a knob of butter, pepper
and nutmeg. Replace the lid and bake at 180 C until the pumpkin is
tender and the filling is hot enough.

Scoop it out into bowls. Eat. Then go for a run to burn off some of
that tasty cholesterol.

Fwd: Pheasant and mushroom soup

2 raw pheasant carcasses
1 onion
1 carrot
1 clove garlic
1 rasher streaky bacon
A little fresh rosemary
Duck fat

Fry the onion, bacon, and carrot in a little duck fat until slightly
browned. Add the bashed up garlic and ripped up carcasses. Fry until
the meat is slightly browned. Add cold water to cover everything and
bring to a simmer. Skim off the fat. Play the violin for 1 hour.

Skim off the fat. Add 2 teaspoons of tomato puree. Rip all the meat
you can off the pheasant bits. Play violin a little longer.

Sieve the whole lot into another pot. Put some dried wild mushrooms
(chanterelle and horn of plenty) in a little water to soak. Reduce the
soup a bit and season. Add a big handful of brown rice. Play violin a
little longer. When ready to serve, throw the mushrooms and bits of
pheasant meat into the soup.

Rhubarb, Apple and Raisin Cake

Crumble Topping:
3oz plain flour
2oz butter
1oz sugar

Cake:
3oz butter
3oz sugar
2 eggs (small)
3oz Self raising flour

Fruit:
300g Rhubarb
1 dessert apple
1 handful raisins
sprinkling of sugar

Oven at gas 4 (180C)
Make the crumble - rub together flour and butter to a crumb texture. Add sugar.
Make the cake - cream butter and sugar, mix eggs in well, add flour,
and a little milk if it's too thick.
Spread cake mix in a greased cake tin (8"?). Lay sliced fruit on top
with a sprinkling of sugar.
Add crumble mixture on that.
Bake 45 minutes.

Roast chicken with spring onion and ginger

1 chicken

2 tsps Fivespice
Black pepper
pinch salf

Bunch spring onion
big piece of ginger
1/2 a red chilli
6-7 cl garlic
2 sprigs sage

Rub the spices on the inside of the chicken
put the chopped herbs, garlic, ginger etc inside the chicken
place chicken in the chicken brick and roast until cooked.
take the liquid from the chicken and put in a saucepan. Remove as much
fat as possible.
Add cornflour and water, stir well and boil to thicken. When ready,
add a good handful of sliced spring onion and some chopped ginger.
Pull the meat off the chicken, slice into bite sized chunks, and add
to the sauce. Add some of the mixture from inside the cavity.

Serve with rice.

bloody gorgeous and no mistake.